Initially Jenny was somewhat disturbed by the nature of my experiments in sex and relationships. The parties and such she could explain as “guys having fun,” but my more, um, personal experiences were discomforting. In fact we had many discussions, some heated, about this early on in our relationship. Later as we built trust and I had more opportunity to demonstrate my commitment and love, she accepted it.
Now she finds it exciting. In general she has become much more interested in sex. She thinks it is because of her relatively sudden greater capacity for orgasms. We joke: it must be because she is thirty [PDF].
Once early on she tried to lap dance me. After all, at one point she had danced well enough to win a prize on television. Surprise: it was fun for us, but she was not that sexy. As I have posted elsewhere, I even dated strippers that did lap dances, though they were generally not so excited about taking work home, so to speak. So Jenny asked me to take her to a few lap dancing places (in the United States) to see how it is done. She even received a few dances herself. Although she is not bisexual, she found it interesting to see and feel what it was about. She developed some theories of her own on why men are interested in this — I may post them later. I was impressed how quickly she improved after that. When I was away from her on trips this year she would show me her progress on webcam (isn't modern life wonderful). When in person, there are many interesting variations on lap dances you can do in private with a committed partner that are (generally) unavailable from women at clubs, even the “highest mileage” clubs I've known.
We are thinking of installing a pole in one of our rooms. More on this later.
I posted earlier about our taking massage lessons also. We focused on our favorite massage techniques: Thai, so-called Swedish, Shiatsu and others, and learned a subset of the arts, the Greatest Hits, so to speak. From there we modify as our hearts, or other organs, desire. Jenny is getting pretty good. Alas, my progress has not been as good. There are also some soapland techniques in which Jenny has professed interest, but it is difficult to perfect without an appropriate location. More on this later, too. (The soapland link fails to mention the special seaweed-based lotion, which is important.)
And we have been experimenting with light bondage and discipline. A few weeks ago Jenny had an orgasm so intense that she basically passed out draped over a small glass table with her wrists and ankles tied to the table legs. I will do a separate post on that topic because I find it emotionally fascinating, a sexual allegory to male-female relationships which all have elements of sadism and masochism. But back on topic...
So that's the background. Now to the meat of this entry, my favorite self improvement project of our relationship:
After one several hour mutual massage session last January, Jenny brought up my experience with May, which she had read about. She wanted to understand what skills made that experience so spectacular. She was curious if she could learn them from me. It was a great question. Unfortunately I knew and could remember very little about the repetoire of specific techniques.
We talked about it off and on over the next several months.
Then one day Jenny told me she wanted to be trained in those arts.
I admit I did not take her suggestion very well, since I was very much upset by the image of her honing these skills on a series of other men. But that was not her point, and once I understood her intention, I was both flattered and excited. The key was that I was to be the test subject. There would be no other men. And the way to do this was to find a private trainer.
Now I have mentioned before that very few men or women, even the highest end women in the sex trade in the West, receive any training in sex. Some may read books, but the quality of most books is poor. Even the very few places in the East that do have training are waning. Nobody has the patience any more. But for me, perhaps due to my anorgasmia, see an enormous difference between the well-trained and the amateur. Make no mistake, there are great amateurs, and sex is one of those things where connection can make a bigger impact on perceived performance than skill, but, boy, don’t knock highly-trained skill until you have tried it.
Jenny had already turned out to be a fast learner. There were some purely physical/mechanical reasons why sex with her was so amazing, but beyond that, for example in oral sex, she had taken my instruction very well. More importantly she learned to listen to my responses. In less than a year she could nearly perfectly adapt to my feelings with her mouth, better than I could even do manually. Of course that was a year where we spent over thirty two weeks with each other 24 hours a day, seven days a week. We were in tune.
But add to that an expertly-trained level of skill? I had to ask myself: would I die of pleasure?
No wonder why I was totally excited.
So the search for a trainer was on. The ideal profile was a trainer who was retiring or had retired from the business, in Asia, of course. Using an active trainer would be difficult since the management of these establishments would not take kindly to personal instruction to a wife of a customer’s friend. No matter how good the customer.
It took another few months to line up three possibilities. I am posting this now because I received word from Jenny that she had interviewed all of them and had stack ranked them. The cost is high but manageable. It was up to me now to confirm the rankings. And it turns out that we would also need a location. There was no chain of Golds Gyms for sex.
I love a challenge.
To be continued.
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